Jack Handey Deep Thoughts quotes
"Instead of a trap door, what about a trap window The guy looks out it, and if he leans too far, he falls out. Wait. I guess that"
Take this quote mobile"Children need encouragement. So if a kid gets an answer right, tell him it was a lucky guess. That way, he develops a good, luck"
"Here's a good thing to do if you go to a party and you don't know anybody First, take out the garbage. Then go around and collec"
"How come the dove gets to be the peace symbol How about the pillow It has more feathers than the dove, and it doesn't have that"
"Somebody told me it was frightening how much topsoil we are losing each year, but I told that story around the campfire and nobo"
"One day one of my little nephews came up to me and asked me if the equator was a real line that went around the Earth, or just a"
"Even though he was an enemy of mine, I had to admit that what he had accomplished was a brilliant piece of strategy. First, he p"
"If your kid makes one of those little homemade guitars out of a cigar box and rubber bands, don't let him just play it once or t"
"If I come back as an animal in my next lifetime, I hope it's some type of parasite, because this is the part where I take it EAS"
"I bet the main reason the police keep people away from a plane crash is they don't want anybody walking in and lying down in the"