Jack Handey Deep Thoughts quotes
"If you were a poor Indian with no weapons, and a bunch of conquistadores came up to you and asked where the gold was, I don't th"
Take this quote mobile"People think it would be fun to be a bird because you could fly. But they forget the negative side, which is the preening."
"The crows seemed to be calling his name, thought Caw."
"I wish outer-space guys would conquer Earth and make people their pets, because I'd like to have one of those little basket-beds"
"I wish I would have a real tragic love affair and get so bummed out that I'd just quit my job and become a bum for a few years,"
"How come, just as the rocket is launching, the astronauts don't also shoot some fireworks out the window It would make the whole"
"I'm not afraid of insects taking over the world, and you know why It would take about a billion ants just to AIM a gun at me, le"
"When you first start wearing a turban, probably the most common mistake is wrapping it too tight. You have to allow the head to"
"We like to praise birds for flying. But how much of it is actually flying, and how much of it is just sort of coasting from the"
"It makes me mad when I go to all the trouble of having Marta cook up about a hundred drumsticks, then the guy at the Marineland"